I thought this was funny but no one else seems to........

Late last Saturday night; a young chap was walking home from a club. It
was a cold, wet, windy evening, and he was tired and freezing. Most of
the streetlights in the area were broken, and the silence was only
broken by the occasional sound of a stray cat sifting through a
dustbin.

Then suddenly he heard a strange noise.......
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>BUMP........
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>BUMP........
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>BUMP........
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>Startled by this, he turned, and to his amazement, through the driving
>rain, he saw the faint outline of a large box turning into his road.
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>BUMP........
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>BUMP........
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>BUMP........
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>He froze to the spot, he couldn' t believe his eyes, as the box
>approached from the shadows, he was able to make out its shape more
>clearly....It was a coffin.
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>Not wanting anything to do with this, he put his head down and started
>walking briskly home.
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>BUMP.......
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>BUMP........
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>BUMP........
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>He could feel the coffin gaining on him, he started walking
>faster.........
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>BUMP........BUMP......
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>BUMP........BUMP..
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>BUMP........BUMP......
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>The coffin was closing with his every step, he started to jog, but he
>heard the coffin speed up after him......
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>BUMP........BUMP...BUMP...
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>BUMP........BUMP...BUMP...
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>BUMP........BUMP...BUMP...
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>He started to sprint, but so did the coffin .......
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>BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.
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>BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.....


>BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.


>Eventually he made it to his front door, but he knew the coffin was
only seconds behind. Fumbling around in his pocket, he pulled out his keys,
>His hand trembling, he managed to open the lock, he dived inside
>slamming the front door behind him. He shot into his front room, and
>slumped into his comfy chair.

>Suddenly there was a loud crash, as the coffin smashed its way through
>the front door. The force of the impact broke the lock off the coffin
>allowing the lid to swing freely on its rusty hinges as it continued
its chase.....
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>BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
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>BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
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>BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
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>BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
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>In horror the young lad fled again, as fast as his shaking legs could
>take him he bolted upstairs to the bathroom and locked the door........
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>BUMP...SCREECH...HOP..BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...
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>BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...
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>BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...
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>The coffin again gave chase up the stairs, across the landing and
>launched itself at the bathroom door. With an almighty smash, the
>bathroom door flew off its hinges.....
>The coffin stood in the doorway, then started to approach the young
>terrified lad.
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>BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
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>BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP.SCREECH...
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>BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
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>In a last ditch attempt to save his skin, he reached for his bathroom
>cabinet......
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>He grabbed a bar of Imperial Leather soap and threw it at the
>coffin.......still it came .......
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>BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
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>He grabbed his can of Lynx deodorant and threw it .....still it
>came......
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>BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP.SCREECH...
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>He grabbed his first aid kit and threw it ......still it came......
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>BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
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>He grabbed some Benelyn cough mixture and threw it........
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>The coffin stopped.